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Rock Solid Relationships

Strengthening Personal Relationships with Wisdom from the Scriptures

By Wendy L. Watson, Ph.D.

Remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation wheron if men build they cannot fall” (Helaman 5:12; italics added).

What a promise! If, and as, we built our lives upon our Savior Jesus Christ we will succeed! In fact, the promise is that no matter what the odds are against us, we “cannot fall.” Now, there’s a guarantee we can count on!

In a world filled with so much uncertainty, terror and tragedy we need: places of security, commitments we can bank on, people we can trust and love we can rely on. We need rock-solid relationships!

Rock solid relationships are those relationships that endure and flourish when the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” (Hamlet III, I, 56-68) combine with the adversary’s storms (see Ephesians 6:12) and the world’s alluring sophistries in a relentless and sinister effort to undermine and ultimately destroy love.

Rock Solid Relationships Are Built Upon The Rock

So how can we build rock-solid relationships? The only way is upon The Rock, the Rock of our Redeemer. Rock-solid relationships, have as their foundation, Jesus Christ. His Power, Light, Love, Truth and Spirit are their bedrock. Relationships built on these “cannot fall.” They just simply can’t. They never will—because they are Rock-solid.

Rock-solid relationships are built upon The Word, who is Christ, and His words, the scriptures. The prophet Nephi, taught, “Feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do” (2 Nephi 32:3; italics added).

All things?

Yes. All things.

How to show love to my wife, so that she really experiences the deep love I have for her? How to help my seemingly indifferent husband think about my needs sometimes? How to be a better wife and mother?

Yes. Absolutely. Certainly. All of these things. As a marriage and family therapist for 30 years, I am convinced the scriptures are the very best “how to” books on relationships. The scriptures are the first and last word on how to be a better husband, father, wife, mother, parent, son, daughter, sibling, in-law, friend, neighbor, boss, employee or any other relationship you can name. The scriptures contain the answers to how to build and strengthen any relationship.

Can you imagine there are over a dozen principles for building relationships to be found in just a couple of chapters in 3 Nephi? I can. Because a few years ago with the guidance of the Spirit, I discovered within the account of the Savior’s visit to the Nephites principles such as:

  • a small voice penetrates positively
  • repetition registers truth
  • commendations are crucial
  • believing and receiving love is beneficial
  • pure touch testifies of love (see Watson, Purity and Passion)

 

Recently I have been intensely focused on helping couples find solutions to problems with their marital intimacy. Once again the scriptures are filled with answers—when we are seeking and seeing with the Spirit. Let me give you just one example. Several verses in Hebrews 13 (1-6; 16) contain magnificent counsel for marriage partners. When these verses are studied with the Spirit and prayerfully pondered, you and your spouse may be convinced that Paul wrote this letter to the Hebrews just for you!

When we don’t know the next step to take, when we can’t see any light at the end of our relationship tunnel, the scriptures—the word of God—are the “iron rod” that we can count on and hold onto.

And now, as the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just—yeah, it had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto them—therefore Alma thought it was expedient that they should try the virtue of the word of God (Alma 31:5).

From Rock Solid Relationships by Wendy L. Watson, Ph.D. (Deseret Book, 2003). Used by permission.

Wendy L. Watson holds a Ph.D. in family therapy and gerontology and is a professor of marriage and family therapy in the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University.